I have been trying to dig deep into my past but often find myself only able to scratch the surface. I have struggled to connect with my own story, to acknowledge my past, to remember my past. I have found that making my gnomes helps me in times of extreme anxiety. I find peace as I trace lines on the fabric, dig through junk to make my vision come alive, and in painstakingly hand sewing and gluing those little pieces together.
I decided to make a self portrait of my pre-teen/ early teen years. It took me longer than usual to flush out my vision. I had to give her a jean skirt, bright colors, shapes, glitter and gems. I had to give her a notebook (cut from an old Mead notebook) with a Lisa Frank sticker (from old letters). Inside I wrote a poem that I have kept over the years- one of my firsts. On the back, I sewed on the word “drink” because I was 13 years old when I started experimenting with alcohol.
I grew up quickly in a short amount of time. I will continue to tug and pull at my memories, trying to separate them like a handful of tangled necklaces.